“My phone will ring at 2am and my wife’ll glance at me personally and get, “Who’s that calling at the moment?” we state, “I don’t understand. If We knew that individuals wouldn’t require the bloody phone.” – Lee Evans

“I question there’s a heaven; i do believe individuals from hell likely have got it for a timeshare.” – Victoria Wood

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We believed to the gymnasium teacher: “Can you show me personally to complete the splits?” He said: “How flexible are you currently?” we said: “I can’t make Tuesdays.” – Tommy Cooper

“A guy walks right into a chemist’s and claims, ‘Can we have club of detergent, please?’ The chemist says, ‘Do you want it scented?’ while the guy says, ‘No, I’ll take it beside me now.’” – Ronnie Barker